What’s the difference between Care Partner and Care Giver?

  • The role of a care giver differs because the needs of the person with the disease is becoming more reliant on someone else for help doing daily tasks. Including personal hygiene, shaving, showering and so on. They will need more assistance with making food and getting dressed. they are no longer driving and the care giver is taking on more responsibilities with paying bills, making appointments and even setting up and monitoring medications for daily consumption. It is no longer 50/50 partnership in life together. It is now becoming a one-way street. 

You are still in the rollercoaster seat, the car is slowing down, and you hear the clicking of the wheels on the track. You see a bend around the corner but you can’t see where it leads. You try your hardest to be open to the possibilities, but your logic wants to know exactly what to expect. 

You get mad! You don’t want to be on this ride anymore knowing there is more ahead. You can’t go back to the way it used to be and so you keep moving forward. One click at at time. 

Then you get sad for what your life was and was supposed to be for you both. Then you start to separate yourself from relationship and take on the full armor of a care giver. A job you never applied for… It sucks… Then the bends in the tracks start coming… You hold on and realize you need help too… It’s a lot to manage… It’s a lot to take in… and it can be just a straight nightmare… 

I am here to help you!

I have been there.. Praying at night “Lord, if you won’t heal him, take (kill him” on some nights) him” …

Partly I was being selfish because our daily life was so exhausting and the other part for his sake. He was miserable and his life was painful, uncomfortable and he was losing himself. The once strong and vital man who was once successful in life and business. Thriving!

The grieving of my relationship, of my marriage and of my hope of a full future enjoying our old age together as in full motion… I wanted to stay the power couple forever! It was gone…

Whether we were in the bright sunshine on the good days or the lightening and thunder on the heaviest of days, we were in it together and I was breaking and starting to go through the grief process.

I was losing the partner in my life that told me I was beautiful, valuable, was proud to be my partner. I stopped feeling beautiful, valuable and had to lean on myself for daily affirmations. I felt like I was aging quickly… Both inside and out…

I had the word “love” in some form or another in every room of our home and a million plants to remind me to live and live.I was keeping every living thing alive in my home.

My focus quickly turned to my job of making him comfortable and being present with him so he could feel taking care of and just as quickly I took complete focus off of myself…

I just want you to know we aren’t meant to go in this alone. It can be so daunting and scary. Just as your partner needs help to get through this life so do you. 

Maybe you are gaining weight, stopped going out and meeting with friends, you aren’t enjoying hobbies anymore and are certainly not taking your own personal time to recharge. Nope, you are doing it all. Even if someone asked you what you needed, you have no capacity to give anyone any ideas or instructions… Not one more responsibility!

People really do want to help, they just don’t know how or what you are going through. 

We are here to lean on! We want you to have someone in your corner to listen to you, to share your emotions. The good, the bad and the ugly. To help you with finding resources and connecting you with others that can help:)

There is a list of people and resources you are going to have to use and need through the rest of this journey as a care giver with your person.

  • Doctors, Nurses
  • Specialists: Neurologists, Surgeons, Dentist, Eye Care, Dermatologist, etc.
  • Counselors/Therapists/Psychologists
  • Physical therapists, Movement Disorder specialist, Speech therapists etc.
  • Social Worker/Case Management
  • Spiritual Advisor
  • Financial advisor/Accountant
  • Resources for financial support – Disability, Social Security, Options for you to receive income as a caregiver, VA
  • Attorney: Estate planning, Advanced directives and medical power of attorney

There are other items and people you will need to help you get and be organized for the best outcome for the both of you.

We want to help you to have peace of mind. while you are in the thick of it. Use my eyes to see when you are blindsided by the changing of your partner and life.

The statistics of the care giver ending up sick, even though a stint in a hospital bed might not sound so bad, putting your own health at risk by not making it a priority is very high. For you to get through this portion of your life mentally, physically and emotionally still intact is the most important gift you can give yourself. 

We will help you get organized! Everything from making your living space easier to get around in, to keeping you on track with self-care. Putting resources together for you or even to go for a walk with you once a week. Let’s do this together!

We would love to support and work with/for you to make this part of your journey easier, hopeful and joyful!

Joyfully yours,

Angela & Lisa

If you would like more information on one on one coaching and support, please text, call or email anytime!